Red is for Lust
by eStHeR-tHe-ScRiBe
Summary: Nowaki was attacked when Hiroki got home. Why? And what happened? Why is he so... cold? and so...so... desiring? Nowaki/Hiroki
1. Red

**Um, ok, I just needed to write this. So, yeah. I also want to write as many stories as Mizu-tenshi, cuz she's my idol :D ok. Enjoy. PS, thank you **Souixie 2.0** for the review. And another round of applause for **yaven**! :D**

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I opened the door to my apartment. The first thing that hit me was that the room was unusually cold. I didn't know why Nowaki would've let it get so cold, but I let the feeling slide. I walked through and closed the door. The lock on the door shined, as if it were polished or... even if someone had placed a new one on. What had Nowaki been doing while I was gone? Again, I let the thought slide from my head.

I took my shoes off and dropped my bag on the ground. I was tired. I wasn't entirely sure what it was, but this cold and dark atmosphere made me feel even sleepier, and a bit wary. I turned around to flick the light on. Once I'd found my way to it and flipped it up, nothing happened. I cursed under my breath. It was windy out, maybe the power had been knocked out. The only thing I was truly worried about was stepping on Nowaki or something. Although, if he wasn't doing anything to attempt a light source, then he could very well be sleeping. That wasn't very Nowaki-like, but what else could the reason be?

"Nowaki," I murmured finding my way to our bedroom. There wasn't a reply. I kept walking in the still darkness until I heard the faint sound of... the rush of a liquid. I wasn't sure, maybe I was wrong, it might've just been the wind playing with my ears. _Swish, slurp, sshhh..._there it was again. The sound vibrated through the room, and with every second passed, the louder the sound had grown. I was beginning to grow fearful, if Nowaki was in here, then what in the name of God could that noise be?

"Nowaki," my voice was more stern, with a bit of worry mixed in. "Nowaki, answer me. What the hell is-?" I stopped in mid-sentence. There _it_was. Right in front of me. A creature. I saw it. It's eyes... they gleamed red. Not look the soft and thick red that blood looked like. No. This was a bright red that cast a glow around the whites of the eyes. It wasn't the color of blood. It was the color of temptation. Of lust. Of greed. _Whoosh!_ The creature was fast too.

Before I had any time to be afraid, it was gone. I stood completely still for a moment. Once a moment had passed, I heard the slightly troubled breaths from Nowaki. I bolted to where the creature had stood. Nowaki flinched.

"Ssh, ssh," I whispered reassuringly, "It's me. It's Hiroki. It's okay Nowaki... I'm here now." I could just barely see the figure in the darkness. His massive body taking up the floor space. I stroked his hair lightly, watching his once scared and armed chest begin to fall with reassurance. I was pleased. His hands fell on my arm, covering up most of it. We sat there for a good hour, waiting for whatever had attacked him to be gone. Once we were sure, I reached into the dresser near his head and took out a flashlight. Nowaki flinched from the sudden intensity of the light.

"Calm down," I said dryly, afraid. The first thing I looked at was his chest. Nothing damaged, all the same. Dammit, Nowaki was the doctor, why the hell was I doing this? I shook my head and continued. His legs were still in contact, they looked able to move. His arms were fine, hands just as well. Once I had traced the flashlight up to his neck and face I wanted to turn it off and throw up. Just below his left ear, on his neck, was a crescent shaped cut. There were four small punctures that made up the cut.

"What's wrong, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked in a worried voice. I choked up a laugh. It was a stupid thing to laugh about in a time like this, but I needed to. I hated pressure.

"U-uh. Th-that guy gave you one nasty hickey," I decided to let my humanity slide for humor. _I got rid of my soul to make room for all this sarcasm._That was a button Miyagi had given me once. What a dumbass. Nowaki made a small laugh, even though it was completely troubled.

"Could you turn that light off, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked politely, "It's hurting my head." I fumbled for the switch and turned it off. I set it down and held his hands in mine. The lights in the hall turned back on, letting the dim light shine over to Nowaki's face. It shadowed the cut mark, which was good for me. At least now I didn't need to pulled my arm down, signaling for me to lie next to him. I did, what else could I do? Nowaki was in trouble and needed me. I closed my eyes and rested in the cold next to him.

Whatever that thing was... I was going to get even.

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"_Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar..._," I read the name of the American book aloud as I waited in the Hospital Pharmacy for the doctors to tell me what the hell was wrong with my lover. I opened it:

**"A ninety-year-old man went to the doctor and said, 'Doctor, my eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby.'  
The doctor said, 'Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly charged at the man, he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it.'  
The man said, 'Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear.'  
The doctor said, 'My point exactly!'"**

Dry humor, I thought. Behind me a doctor tapped my shoulder. I set the book back down.

"Well?" I pressed. The doctor pushed the glasses on his nose further back up his nose, as if it made a damned difference.

"Nothing a little medicine can't fix. As for your intruder," he gave me a little note of scribble. I hated doctors' handwriting, "I'd suggest you get a new lock." I squinted my face.

"Fine."

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**Back at the Apartment**

"Nowaki," I began, "What do you want to eat?" Nowaki smiled at me.

"I'm not much for eating right now. But thank you, Hiro-san."

"You need to eat, the doctor said you need to."

"_I'm_ a doctor, and I don't feel as though I should."

"Then you're a stupid doctor," I grudged. Nowaki was still smiling. Little asshole, why the hell does he always smile? Even when something has happened to him. But when something happens to _me_it's like the apocalypse has come early for Christmas. I sighed and waltzed into our room, wanting to change from the attire I'd worn since last night's intrusion. Today was Sunday, I had the day off. Maybe me and Nowaki could do something together. God only knows why I was feeling so generous.

I drew my shirt above my head, feeling the sticky sweat on my forehead catch it. I tugged a little harder, feeling the friction of the shirt and my forehead burn. I grimaced. Before I could go to the bureau, I felt two arms wrap around my bare waist. Nowaki's freezing fingers sent an electric tingle up my spine. I jumped a little from the sudden touch and felt Nowaki's cold lips graze my neck. My body tingled fervently. This was the strangest feeling I'd ever felt before. It didn't feel like Nowaki...

"I love you, Hiro-san..." Nowaki whispered heavily into my ear. What was wrong with me? Something just turned a switch on in my body. I suddenly forgot about everything... only Nowaki was there. I needed Nowaki more than anything. His icy fingers slipped to my sides and gripped tightly. My eyes widened. What in the world was going on? He carried me to the bed.

"N...owa...ki..." I whispered in shock. He kissed my neck. Another jolt surged through my body. I couldn't explain it. I wanted him to stop, I needed to get my thoughts back in order... but I also silently begged for him to keep going. His tongue was freezing. The cold and damp essence trailed down from my shoulder to my neck. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. It was weird. Strange. Impossible. I shook my head once I had finally regained myself. I shoved Nowaki off of me and sat up breathing heavily, even though I had physically done nothing.

"Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked with his puppy eyes. I grasped the pillow from behind me and hit him.

"What the hell!" I yelled at him. Nowaki caught the pillow. Nowaki couldn't do that before... _my_ Nowaki couldn't do that before. "This isn't like you! What's wrong with you, Nowaki?" Nowaki inched closer to me. His arms caged me in on either of my sides and his legs trapped my legs underneath his body. I felt the freezing essence flow off of his body and burn me in ways unimaginable. In all my years of living, I'd never felt so much disturbance... and so much adrenaline.

"I'm..." Nowaki began with his face falling desperately. That was Nowaki. "I'm sorry..." his face closed in down on mine, "Hiro...san...." _Crunch!_I froze. I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I was in utter fear for both myself and Nowaki. I was afraid if I'd move I'd hurt something inside me... and afraid that if I'd move I'd hurt Nowaki. I was so stunned.

_Gulp... gulp... gulp..._I shuddered at each mouthful went down Nowaki's throat. I was in agony. So much pain. I felt the red eyes burning through me. The desire... and lust... and greed... all of it. I wanted it to stop... but I couldn't find the will to tear myself away. Not from Nowaki. Not from him.

I felt tears stream down my face in silence. This wasn't real. It wasn't happening. These creatures didn't exist... and yet... here I was. Having my blood being indulged by the love of my life. How this had come about made no sense to me. Just fear and shock. And temptation. Nowaki's mouth fell away from my neck. What did this mean? If it meant anything. Again... this isn't real.

"I'm sorry... Hiro-san," Nowaki began, his eyes full of tears. I couldn't do anything but stroke his hair unevenly. I tried to talk, tell him it's okay. But it wasn't okay... not at all.

"We'll get through it," I whispered, shocked I was able to say that much. Nowaki gripped me tightly. I felt a bit of blood drizzle down my neck, and I knew he was restraining himself to get to it. We could get through it... we get through everything. That made me feel stronger inside. Nowaki could sense my courage, enhancing his own. "We'll get through it," I repeated kissing his forehead.

I wonder what life will be like with a vampire boyfriend...

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**TO BE CONTINUED....!!! :D My grandparents are coming over today... wish me luck!! Love -eStHeR-tHe-ScRiBe**


	2. Hate Me and the Monster

**WOW! Thank you all so much! This has turned out to be a big hit. Next to my story _Hearts, Chocolates and Agony_ but I'm so glad! OK! This chapter is dedicated to many people... so here's the list: **J-170, savagen, xXSilver0BladeXx, Souxie 2.0, egoXlockheart, ShounenaiFangirl, Youkai of Hearts, BakuraNeko **and my personal new BFF on Fanfic**Faye-Naruse**. Ok! I'm sooo glad this is such a big turnout! Keep reading! Thank you! Love Esther :D PS, I stole lines from Twilight. FUCKING SUE ME!!**

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"I'm not so sure, Hiro-san...," Nowaki began quietly. I groaned. Like I'd explained earlier: When it was about Nowaki, nothing needed to be done. When it was about me, the world seemed to be dying.

"God dammit, it's not that hard," I growled. Nowaki still looked scared. I sighed, "Nowaki, the doctor said it was ok-."

"That doctor is a psychopath to have believed your statement that I was a vampire," Nowaki intercepted.

"Well, he's not a real doctor now is he?" I started again, "He's crazy enough to believe us, and give us what we need. Why aren't you happy about this?" Nowaki's face fell. Right after Nowaki had... drunk my blood, he went into a rampage about how he wasn't meant to live. He said he wasn't supposed to be here anymore. Of course though, I loved Nowaki. Vampire or not. So I'd do anything in my power to give him what he needed. Thankfully, we _did_ find someone crazy enough to donate some donors to us. It was one of the creepiest situations I'd ever been involved in, but it was still worth it.

"Hiro-san..." Nowaki whined.

"I don't make you do things, usually, Nowaki. But this is something I'm going to force you to do, whether you want to fuckin do it or not!" Nowaki looked cold. Not as if his skin were cold, because I knew that was true already. I meant, he looked as if he were cold _because _of his own skin. Like the nerves inside him shook ferociously because of the freezing nature he was forced to live in. Like the body was just a shell, using the real Nowaki to feed the hunger it very well needed to consume. Unfortunately, I needed to love the monster to love Nowaki... and that was a sincerely difficult event to endeavor.

Nowaki just looked at the dead human in front of him. Probably disgusted. He wasn't the only one. I sighed.

"It's either this," I pointed to the body, "or me, Nowaki." Nowaki's body had tensed. Every muscle gripped furiously. I didn't like using myself as a threat, but sometimes it needed to be done. "It's your choice completely."

"Give me another choice."

"Like die?"

"You finally understand..."

"Nowaki!" I hit his head. Dammit. It felt like hitting a cinder block that had been left in the snow outside. That was good though. If anyone touched Nowaki, we could get away with saying he was outside for a while. The red eyes were something we'd need to lie on the spot about... red eyes don't just happen.

Nowaki finally hunched over the body and dug his face into the neck. I wanted to be supportive, but I just couldn't force myself to watch. This form he was in didn't completely disgust me... it just completely scared me. Not for myself. I was afraid for Nowaki too. I knew he didn't want to be in this body, but he needed to. Doctor Mars stepped into the room just as Nowaki backed away from teh body, his eyes gleaming red. I felt slightly jealous. Seeing all that lust in his eyes and not having it be on me. Of course I didn't want my blood to deplete, but it just pissed me off ever so much.

"So, Doc," I began as Nowaki rolled his eyes at the _Doctor_, "You've dealt with this before?" The man nodded and twisted and fumbled his fingers with each other. He was a nervous wreck, but that was just perfect for our situation.

"It seems as though with the past vampires," he hissed with a lisp, "They were able to go on healthily if taking in three donors a week. Or, the vegetarian way would have them feed as much as they'd desire on animals." He pushed his glasses up on his nose, "But animals are hard to come by in Japan." I heard Nowaki groan. If he was that hesitant on a dead human, I doubt he'd have the balls to get _near_ an animal.

"Fine," I answered for Nowaki. "What about health issues? What can hurt him? Crosses? Silver? Crap like that?" I wasn't a superstitious man, but my boyfriend was a vampire. What else was I suppose to expect?

"Ahh," the tiny man waddled over to his little desk and took out a pack of pills, "these multiply the strength of your little leech here," Nowaki flinched at the name, "it also lessens the blood lust, allowing him to be around people." I nodded and took the pills from him. He didn't really answer my question, but I doubt he'd answer it. The doctor ushered us out of the room and we walked home in the bitter and barren snow.

Nowaki was looking at his the ground the whole time. Doctor Mars also said that a vampire's instincts triple. I didn't really understand what he meant by that, but I knew I'd be discovering things at the same pace as him.

"Nowaki," I whispered. He looked up, his eyes drained of energy. I hated him being this way. I just wanted him to be back. I cursed myself. Why didn't I ask Doctor Mars about that? Damn! Nowaki fell to an abrupt stop. I looked at him considerately. Nowaki's face looked pained. I wasn't sure if it was of how he thought of himself or.... His eyes sharpened into the bright red color, outshining the glow of his face. I took a deep breath and took the box of pills out.

"Nowaki!" I ordered. Nowaki didn't respond. I was shocked. This wasn't like Nowaki. My chest broke into a sudden pain. I wanted to cry. This Nowaki, with glowing red eyes, it wasn't Nowaki. This was the monster. This was what I hated. This was what was hurting_ my_ Nowaki. Nowaki's face fell back over me. His teeth were bared. My breath hitched at the sharp canine teeth that were braced for feed. Nowaki took my hand in his and began walking speedily to the apartment. My eyes widened. I didn't need too many hints to understand what he was going to do. I yelled his name again, people looked at us. People looked at his glowing red eyes. People saw my struggling. People were scared.

We were gaining fast on the apartment. I stumbled over myself numerous times, only to have Nowaki pop my arm so I'd stand up straight again. At the stairs Nowaki finally got fed up with my speed and grabbed my waist. I felt my body fall into shock at the even colder hands that touched me. He ran up the stairs and opened the door with swift ease. _Shit!_ I thought uneasily. I was scared.

Nowaki shut the door behind us, him, and locked it. My eyes widened. I needed to take control. Nowaki needed to understand limit. Although, I was eternally grateful that he didn't do anything in front of a public audience. He walked into our room, I felt the bitter cold seep under my skin. I had never felt so terrified, so freezing, in my life. But even though I was scared, I loved every moment, every thought. I loved the idea of him touching me, understanding me, looking at me with those eyes. Those red and delicate eyes.

"Stop," I whispered unconvincingly. Nowaki caught my wrist in his hand and slammed it against the bed. "Dammit, Nowaki..." my voice was strained. I had wide, unblinking eyes staring up at the ceiling. I felt tears want to fall down to the side of my face, but I couldn't get myself to do anything. His hand slid up my shirt. A buzz of electricity fled through my body. I finally realized that these mini electric attacks weren't the static of cold against warm... this was an electrical current that was real and alive in his body. Friction heating up his heart.

"What am I supposed to do?" Nowaki breathed huskily into my ear. I was surprised. His voice was smooth. Inviting. Like the words wrapped around me in an entrancing matter. They pulled me closer to him... but the meaning had intensified. I heard the words louder than ever. It hurt to hear what he said..., "Like I _can_ stay away from you. Like it's _possible_ for me not to love you... every... part..." his tongue fled down my neck. The buzz stung this time, I arched my back in pain and let out a wail. Nowaki looked hurt, he didn't want me in pain, but this was just as addicting to him as it was for me.

"Now... a..." I sat up straight and looked up at the red eyes. I had to do everything in my power not to be seduced, "ki...." I put my hand up behind his head and forced it down to my shoulder. I saw Nowaki's fearful look. He didn't want to do this. Oh, but I did. I didn't want my love to suffer... I could finally show Nowaki that I really _did_ care about him. Not that I think he ever doubted me or anything...

The pain had lessened. My body released its tight grip. Nowaki's tensed muscles also died down. I was much happier. A warm smile fell across my face as I felt my strength leave. I wasn't sure how long it'd been since he'd began. It felt like hours. But he had stopped. I caught the blood drip down on his chin. My blood. I let my head fall onto his chest in contentment. His hand gripped my chin and pushed my face towards his. His eyes seemed sad. Depressed. Unhappy. But I made sure he saw my happiness. My joy. I was happy with his monstrous side too. I loved him for all that he was.

I pushed my face forward and kissed him. He struggled a moment, getting used to the concept of kissing me while trying not to indulge in my blood. Finally, his tongue twisted with mine, and I tasted it. The metallic and disgusting taste of blood. I could feel it stain my teeth and force itself down my neck, but I ignored it. For some reason, Nowaki liked it. I just had to accept his taste and move on.

Even if his taste was me.

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**Nowaki's Side of the Story**

It tasted sweet. I couldn't describe it. It was like without him... without Hiro-san's blood... a part of me was missing. I hated it. I hated myself. I wanted to die. I wanted Hiro-san to fear me. I backed my mouth away from his and looked into his eyes. _Damn_. They were alight with joy. He loved it as much as I did. I loved this man.

I was killing him.

Someone stop me.... _You're both happy... why are you so pissed?_ That damned demon inside of me. Talking about my Hiro-san. _DAMN!_ I was so angry. I wanted Hiro-san to love me... but hate _it_. To want me... but kill _it_. That was all I wanted. _But _it_ is you..._ the monster whispered to me, _so your beloved Hiro-san will have to love both of us._

"Damn..." I whispered, tears flooding down my face.

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**Okay. Well, it's still ongoing. Nowaki will have to face his job next... and he works at a hospital. Haha. This'll be amusing to write. If anyone has any comments, suggestions, CONCERNS, freak-outs, (As long as its not "EWWW GAY PEOPLE!!") then feel free to message me. Kewl. LOVE YOU FAYE-CHIIN!!! Ps, I love Faye-chiin, lolz. **


	3. Gone

**WOW! Again... Oh, I'm so grateful for your thoughtful reviews :D Oh, well I'm surprised I can even write this fic cuz my family's over and saying "ESTHER! PLAY WII-FUCKIN-FIT!!" And I'm just kinda sitting there, with my gothic look creeping them all out, and glaring at them. THey all get scared and look away. :D IM GOTH?! I know, its so hard to believe. Dedications: **crazymillychan, kute-kat509, femaleJoey, cool-girl1027, bloodmemories **(LOVE YOUR NAME!!)**, AnimeANgelRiku, and J-170. **ARIGATO! **

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"Just be yourself," I growled as Nowaki paced back and forth.

"But, they have to know something's up with me. Won't they get suspicious?" Nowaki's red eyes had left. He was definitely... _full_. I had no worries about him, but he seemed doubtful about everything. I wanted us to call in sick and stay here to help each other get by this, but Miyagi would definitely give me hell about that the next do. _So, you and Nowaki-kun got sick on the same day? What happened at home?_ I rubbed my temples at only the thought of his stupidity.

"If you're really this worried then stay home," I answered.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki whined again. I groaned and got up, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Nowaki," I began, "I know that you'll be fine...." He looked at me with distressed eyes. I almost thought he was deciding something. Like there were two roads taunting in front of him, when in truth it was only me. He sighed and kissed my forehead. I felt the shock flow through my, tingling the tips of my fingers. I stood on my toes and closed my eyes, hinting for another kiss. When I opened my eyes, Nowaki was at the other side of the room packing his bag for work.

I stomped back on my feet and grimaced at him.

"There's food in the fridge," Nowaki said quietly. I nodded, not really listening. "Be careful..." I rolled my eyes. He was telling _me_ to be careful. Before I could do anything else, Nowaki grabbed my waist with one arm. I lowered my chin away from his face. He manuevered his lips around to kiss the side of mine. "I love you... Hiro-san."

I turned around and kissed him back. THis time, he didn't leave. It was the equivelant to kissing ice. Cold and hard... but slowly melting in your mouth. Nowaki finally pushed back, his eyes tinted red. I knew I'd pushed it. I hated that. Now I had to be careful when I kissed him. I couldn't make the wrong moves or else...

"I love you too, Nowaki."

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**At Work**

"I heard about your intruder," Miyagi stated as I was getting ready to leave for the day. I nodded indifferently.

"Whatever."

"You're pretty cool about it..." Miyagi started questioningly. He came up from behind me and hugged my waist, "What new drug are you on?" My eyes flared and I shoved him off.

"Professor," I began, "don't be a dumbass."

"Awww, you're no fun." I walked out of the office. How was Nowaki doing? I couldn't concentrate on my teaching all day...

_"If you did your homework then you'd understand," I growled at a child. They shied back afraid. I went up to the board, writing down questions about the chapter they'd previously read._

_"P-Professor..." Miaka began. My eyes flared as I turned and asked what was wrong with my teaching voice. She looked scared to death as she pointed out that the chapter they'd read wasn't on vampires. That brought my fury down. How did she know about that? I turned around and looked at the board that read: How do you revert vampires...?_

_I put my hand over my mouth in shock. _

I took out my cellphone and called the hospital. The receptionist I talked to said that Nowaki had called in sick. I hung up. So Nowaki _did_ end up taking the day off. I walked up to the apartment and opened the door. The room was unusually warm. I should've known right there that something was wrong, but I walked into the kitchen instead. I opened the fridge to see the food that Nowaki had said there'd be. The fridge was jam pakced with all sorts of foods and deserts. I guessed that Nowaki had decided to cook to get rid of his hunger pains. But did he need to cook so much?

"Nowaki, or _Dotch_, why'd you make so much food?" I asked. Nowaki didn't answer. Maybe he was asleep. I walked into our room. The bed was made and the room had been cleaned. Nowaki must've really been bored. Nowaki still wasn't here. Maybe he went shopping to replace all the food he'd cooked. I wondered where he'd store all the food.

My eye caught a piece of paper on the bed. I walked over and picked it up. I read the note. My face was relaxed when I'd started. The more I read, the angrier and more tense my face had grown. _Impossible..._ I thought.

I crumpled the paper and threw it to the floor, running out of the apartment.

_Dear Hiro-san.  
I'm sorry... I'm just not happy with the way our lives  
have become. I do love you... which is why I needed  
to leave. Please understand. I'm leaving right now,  
don't look for me. Try to live life without me, find  
someone else. That'd make me happy. I love you._

_-Nowaki_

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**Ok. I was looking for a Japanese _Emiral_ and got _The New Dotch_ a couple times. So when Hiro-san says Dotch, he's referring to a famous cooking show. Ok. I had a dream about how this would turn out. So now I'm writing it. KEEP READING! It amy suck now but it gets better**


	4. Boyfriends and Burns

**I am held in complete awe by my idol Mizu-Tenshi. Ok, well, only two dedications this time. **J-170**, thank you deeply much for your kind and generous words. YOU RAISE ME UP! And, once again, **Mizu-Tenshi **for inspiring me to write my stories. Ahh. Well. Yeah. Thank you for reading my stories!  
ARIGATO! Love Esther.**

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I sat down on my couch. Alone. Depressed. I didn't understand what was happening to me. I finally understood what that damned Bella girl felt when that... gay vampire guy had left her. Dammit. I couldn't make fun of him... I _am _gay. All the pain had been eating me alive. I'd come up with three theories to my newest life, which is living with the knowledge of knowing that the love of my life was running out somewhere with those red decadent eyes stalking his next meal.

One. Commit Suicide.

Two. Stay like this forever. (Alone and in my living room)

Three. Do what Nowaki suggested. Get another boyfriend.

I was confused about everything. So I decided to start with number two. It'd been a month since I'd left my apartment. I called into the school sick numerous times. With all the food Nowaki had given me I didn't need to go outside. I was running low though. And my bills were paid by mail, so that was ok. Unfortunately, this plan hadn't been working out so well for me.

_Ding-dong!_My heart rose up my chest. Could it have been...? No. No. I still got up and walked hastily to the door. I knew it wasn't him. It would never be him. He was gone. Gone for good. He said so. Yet a place in my heart still managed to keep faith. A tiny chunk in that mass of organ pitted in my chest managed to beg it to be Nowaki. I wanted so greatly to feel his touch, warm or cold, again. I wanted to hear his voice, strained or bellowing, again. See his eyes, red or not, again. I just needed Nowaki.

I opened the door. Instead of my Nowaki, I saw Akihiko-sama. I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him. My heart fell back down into the dark pit in my chest. There it lay caged until the next moment I waited for Nowaki.

"Hiroki?" Akihiko asked surprised. I didn't know how I looked, or smelt for that matter, but I didn't care anymore. He wasn't Nowaki. He wasn't here for the reasons Nowaki would be here. He was probably not even here for my state of well-being. "What's gotten into you?" his voice was kind and considerate. _Maybe..._ I thought, _maybe... I can try... liking someone else._I looked into the distant space as Akihiko stood there, waiting for a response. "Hiroki." Akihiko's voice was more brutal, "What the hell is wrong? Your boyfriend dump you?"

I looked away, my eyes watering. _No fucking way I'll let him see me cry!_ I thought. I gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm doing much better now than ever," I answered with force. Akihiko didn't look convinced, but I was. I shut the door on him. I walked into my bathroom and took a deep shower. I let all my troubles flow down my body like the sweat and dirt that had clung to me over the month. My troubles ran freely with the water until the water had been cleansed and ran down the drain clean and fresh. I took the deep breath of honeysuckle shampoo and soap and walked out into my room. I started to clean.

I cleaned every part of my apartment right down to alphabetizing the library book case.

Today was December fifth. The University I worked at was closed during Christmas. I was going to renew myself. I was going to catch up with some friends and go to some parties. I was going to fall in love all over again. I was going to forget about Nowaki. I still loved him... deep in my heart a rich red rose bloomed only for him in a field of buttercups. Only the rose smelt as sweet as honeysuckle. And only the rose contained enough love to be able to be equal to half of my own self. The rose leaving... was like a part of me being taken away.

But I'd have to push that thought aside. I threw on some blue jeans, a tan long-sleeves shirt, a brown jacket and a light brown scarf with my tan hat that Nowaki had given me. I made myself forget that. I walked over to my door and opened it up. The first thing I noticed was the cold. It was inviting. I looked up into the cloudy sky and felt it. The single warm stream of water trickle down my face.

But today wasn't about crying.

Tonight... was about me... losing myself.

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**With Nowaki**

I stood with my back against the wall of the alley. There was so much pain and hunger that growled and roared inside of me. A hole was ripping and gorging inside of my stomach. It manifested into a black and uneasy spirit that indulged itself upon my negativity. There was only so much I could do. I thought that if I got away from Hiro-san... my hunger pains would leave but they only strengthened. My need for Hiro-san had intensified.

My love for Hiro-san left a scar. A flesh wound. He was like a cut on my chest. It hurt and pained me so much... but I knew I was able to hide it with the correct guise.

"Hey, you ok man?" someone asked from beside me. I fell to the ground and gripped my head in my hands furiously. I growled and roared in agonizing pain. There was so much food around me... so much I wanted to indulge in. But I couldn't. Physically. I tried. I tried over and over again. I tried drinking blood but once I caught the wretched taste I spit it back out and left my victim. I was the worst.

The only blood that tasted right to me... the only sweet and delicious blood out there; the only blood that could satisfy my needs... was Hiro-san's blood. It hurt, that scar stung. My existence was unneeded. I'd tried to kill myself. Numerous times.

But I was God.

I couldn't die. It was torture. I was dying and starving, but I wasn't allowed to die. I could only live by taking the blood of the man I loved. That hurt so much. It made my wound fizz and burn and gap. Tears streamed down my face as the man knelt by my side, asking over and over again what was wrong.

I wanted his blood. I felt the pulsing liquid rush through his veins. I could smell the magnificent scent. But I knew once I'd begun to drink... I'd taste the equivalent to drinking pure Novocain. My stomach wretched. I spit up blood from my mouth. I quivered and shook furiously. This was the closest to Hell I've ever come into contact with.

"Hey, what's wrong?" the man was still here. My eyes raged red. I fell onto my knees and threw up again. So much blood. All Hiroki's blood. I was a monster.

"Please!" I begged yelling, "Kill me!" I begged and begged. The man thought I was derranged. Dammit. I wanted to slit my throat and be torn open. Have maggots crawl around my rotting flesh and eat me alive. I begged for any death. Anything. Just please kill me.

No. I stopped my cries and held my fist to my chest.

This wasn't a scar of love that Hiro-san had left with me. This aching and unendurable torment wasn't the work of a mere cut from a blade. No.

Hiro-san's love burned. A real fire burn.

That way... he could never leave me. He would still be there, all his intensity, but never be there at the same time.

"Please..." I whispered, "kill me..." The man yelled for an ambulance. I shook my head and ran, full speed, out of the alley.

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**Um, I'm sorry. Torment is my game. Ask my friends. Watch me write about someone undergo superficial pain and hurt over things so infinitesimal and petit. I love torturing people... it beings me joy. :D HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!**

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	5. Comeback of the Year

**I just finished watching the first seven episodes of Hell Girl and I LOVE it!! Well... like I said... torture is my game. Some HiroMiyagi fluff.  
Love Esther  
_Perhaps... it is time to die._**

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I laughed with the men I'd met at the bar. This was unusual, for me to be at a bar. For me to be laughing. It wasn't working anyway. Through all my plastic smiles, there was that bit of tortured and worrisome heart that crept back up into view. Only I could feel and see it. Only I could sense my distress, which was good. Everyone else here seemed to be having a good time. I didn't want to ruin their fun.

I began to wonder how Nowaki was doing. Although I was out here to forget about him, the vampire seemed to have plastered himself to my mind. I was perfectly fine with it too. Is that a bad thing? That I want to still think about him as though his return was eminent. As if he were to come back to me in my greed of wanting him. But was it greed that drove me towards that man? Was it purely humor that he always seemed to toy with my mind as if it were some doll. Pinning my heart in places I would never think possible, both causing me agony and pure bliss.

I barely knew what to think anymore. Too many things were possible nowadays. I couldn't say the words _impossible_ or _highly unlikely to be seen in our lives_anymore unless truly proven and backed up by scientific data. Even still, it wasn't enough to have my imagination wander off into what the world might really be. Past what we see and what we are so ignorant to understand, there may be other creatures that heed this very planet that we consume. It really made me think beyond what I was taught and what I was reprimanded to think by my parents and teachers.

Yes, I'd read books on aliens and vampires existing, but sooner or later I both found out myself that there was no way for them to be real and my guardians told me against my beliefs. It wasn't wrong. Every kid needs to grow up sometime. But what if that were real? What if those books had true facts and were not merely old stories that elders or parents read to their children as a fantasy story for them to enjoy. What if we used those _And they all lived happily ever after _books as educational text books. Knocking out the _Generics on How Wasabi is Made_.

"Right Hiroki?" someone beside me asked.

"I don't even like wasabi!" I confirmed in an outraged ramble. The three men around me all gave me confused looks, then their eyes light with enjoyment and they all bellowed laughs. I had made a complete fool out of myself, I thought unsteadily. It was social suicide.

"Ah! Kamijou!" my face flattened at the voice. The sound was equal to the bellow of Satan's damning voice. His actions couldn't even be duplicated by Hades if he were dancing inferno in the pits of Hell on Mars. The look in his eyes burned you internally like gastric acid. He was the one... the only...

"Miyagi," I spit.

"Ahhh, Kamijou! You'd recognize me a mile away!" he went to wrap his arms around me, but I was faster. I had hopped out of my seat and slid to the side faster than he'd hoped. He fell, stomach side, onto the bar stool. He made his unwilling puppy face, looking at me through watery eyes. "K-Kamijouuu, that hurt!" he wailed.

I grabbed my jacket and turned my back on the group.

"Goodbye," I stated coldly.

"Ah, want me to give you a lift, Kamijou?" Miyagi asked considerately.

"Don't you have a terrorist to attend to?" I countered, "Anyways, you just got here. Why leave when you've only just arrived?"

"I was only looking for some fun," he poked my cheek. "And you- are- it!" Miyagi squealed proudly, as though he'd found a lost treasure.

"Don't try my patience. It's wearing thin these days," there was a silence. Silence from Miyagi was bad.

"What's wrong?" his voice was more delicate. He was in a serious conversation mode.

"Nothing, you bastard," I answered opening the door to the bar and walking out onto the street. Miyagi took my wrist and pulled me into the car. It was an unexpected assault. But assault nonetheless. He buckled me in before I had time to struggle, and rounded himself to the driver's side. He was already wheeling out of the parallel parking unit and speeding off down the streets of the city. I had no where to go anymore. I decided I'd go wherever my superior decided to take me.

The silence was heavy in the car, like the amount of cigarette smoke. _Disgusting_, I thought.

"At this rate, you'll die young," I quickly remarked, filling the silence.

"You sound like Shinobu..." Miyagi huffed under his breath. This was awkward. Being in a car with a serious Miyagi. "So I heard you and your boyfriend split up. Who left whom is none of my business, but I care for your health. That novelist guy... Usari... Usadi...."

"Usami?"

"Yeah, that's the guy. He said you were all depressed and wreaked of break up. Of course I didn't understand what he meant, but once I caught sight of you in there..." his voice and thoughts faded momentarily, "it all made sense." My face crunched into a fixed glare.

"What of it?" I asked.

"You looked about ready to preform suicide, Hiroki." My eyes widened, "I'm really worried about you-."

"Suicide?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I yelled thrashing my head to the side in a quick and sharp movement.

"Suicide is when someone attempts death to themselves. It's usually caused by emotional-."

"Miyagi, quit fucking around and take me home!"

"Not likely."

"What do you mean not likely?"

"You're staying with me until your head clears up."

"Then I hope you like having me as a permanent resident, dammit!" The car took a sharp turn, then stopped abruptly. My body froze. Passion, whatever kind of passion it was, but flat out passion thickened the air around us. It was anger. Rage. Care. All mixed into one. Miyagi gripped my chin in his hand. I was very uncomfortable with this. No matter how determined anyone was to keep me alive, I didn't want it to end up in a sexual assault.

"Understand this, Hiroki," he whispered. His breath was hot on my skin. The cold air had somehow manuevered its way into the car, making our bodies the only conductive heat sources. "You try so hard to look as though you're not hurt, as though you're not saddened or pained. But there are people who care about you and want you to be happy. It's those people you should rely on. Not someone like that boyfriend of yours who left."

"Who said he left?" I asked in minuscule outrage.

"I know you... and I know from the way you acted at work that you loved that man. But now, he's gone. He may have lost the greatest man in the world. I hope he's suffering right now."

As soon as he said that, I suddenly felt Nowaki. I felt his presence. I was almost him for a moment. I felt pain in my chest. A small pain. I was barely able to understand.

"I hope he's dying." The pain grew larger. I saw a damp street with a scarlet tinted vision.

"Breaking down." There was a hole in my chest, and a hunger aching in my stomach. It wasn't like a knife cut. It was like someone taking my innerds and pulling on them until they wouldn't pull anymore, but they somehow managed to stretch longer.

"Living in an agonizing Hell." My head burst into a screech. Like thousands of people screaming and running. I finally realized... that was real.

"Being tortured right now as we speak, for leaving you." Tears were on my [his] cheeks. I wanted to throw up. Blood. It was everywhere. On my hands, on the ground, splattered on the walls.

"Because he didn't love you." _I love you, dammit. I'm so, so sorry Hiro-san. This is Hell. I want to die. Please. PLEASE! Kill me. Kill me now. I don't want to live through this torture anymore. I'm sorry for hurting you... but..._ I saw a bridge. Below, thousands of cars rushed by. My eyes widened.

"No..." I whispered. _I need to leave this place..._ "No." My voice wavered and grew louder. _Please forget me... I love you..._. I fled from Miyagi. I rushed out the door, my body in shock. "NO!" I screamed. "Nowaki! Stop! Don't do it!" I looked out through the bloody eyes and felt a breeze hit me. I was falling. _He_ was falling. I saw it. The cars. Ganging up on me. Closer... closer...

I blinked.

Nowaki... was gone....

* * *

**Nowaki**

_My actions weren't ideal..._ I thought as I saw men and women jump out of their cars. _But I needed to do something..._people called for an ambulance. They asked if I was hurt. Unfortunately, I was fine. I felt my body piece itself back together. My limbs entangled themselves again. I was alive. I was ok. And now, my lust for Hiro-san was too strong.

I needed him now. I needed him so badly, I forget the reason of why I left. _Hiro-san,_ I thought standing up, perfectly fine. _Tonight... I _will_ see you._ My thoughts were savage. The were equal to a beast's growl and rumble. My stomach growled like a tire screech, audible enough for all the people to hear it. I didn't care though.

"He's alive," the crowd murmured stunned. "It's a miracle." I turned to all of them, casting sharp glares. All of them fell silent. And I was gone.

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**Um. So. Yea. Two more chapters then its over. _AWWWW!!!_ Well, too bad. Read Faye-chan and Mizu(tenshi)-chin's stories!!!  
LOVEEEEE ESTHER**


	6. Priorites: Blood, blood, Hiroki

**Uhm, ok. I'm in a really passionate and tense mood cuz I'm listening to Chop Suey by System of A Down. That and I'm really in a tense mood in all. Ahahaha, but you guys don't want to hear my life problems, your only here to read the story. And thanks for doing at least that much. You're all so awesome!**

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What was I going to do? How was I going to live? Nowaki was dead. I didn't mean figuratively dead nor dead but still able to touch me. I meant Nowaki was actually _dead_. The ache in my chest dragged along as I cried in my room. The tears that had run down so carelessly against my red flushing skin made white running marks against my checks. My stomach twisted and turned, thrashing around until I was sure it was about ready to burst and have blood stain everything in sight.

The blood. Blood had stained and germinated in my thoughts. My sight was tinted scarlet, like when I had looked through Nowaki's eyes. The room was darker and bloodier. It consumed me into a pit of fear that I was not able to strike my heart out of. I wondered if Nowaki had gone to Heaven or Hell. Since my theory on vampires was that they all went to Hell, did that not justify their soul before? If someone were as sweet, caring and sincere as Nowaki, were they still damned to walk through the dark and painful fiery pits of Hell? Did they have absolutely no chance of even being acknowledged by God? I curled into a ball, gripping my head tightly beneath my arms.

No. Nowaki was in Heaven. He must be in Heaven. _Please, dear God. Please allow Nowaki to enter through the gates of Heaven. His eternally damnedness was not his fault, it was against his will. He had no choice. I'd do anything to let him into Heaven. I'd even take his place in Hell. Just... please..._ I didn't know if that would do any good. I didn't know if God accepted such feeble requests by such minuscule people. I wasn't suffering as much as perhaps 50 trillion people out in the world dying of poverty and famine. I was still being tortured though. Even though I sincerely had it good. I had a great education. I had a great job. I had great friends. It was my fault for being a stiff. It was my fault for everything. But I could not hide behind palstic smiles my whole life. That was simply not me.

I wiped my eyes and looked up to see my belt lying on my bed. A hundred thoughts raced through my mind. Teenage thoughts. Thoughts that suicide can get me out of life. People who have it so much worse than me are able to live through their pain. I'm weak. I'm here thinking about ways to get myself to Nowaki when i know I can never see him again. _But_, I thought standing up, _at least... I'll have some peace in mind..._ I stroked the brown leather belt, _that he's in Heaven._

Whatever had really been running through my mind at this point was something I was oblivious to. I can just barely remember the growls and taunts in such a demonic and monstrous fashion resonating through my mind. I picked up the belt in my head, not thinking about what I might be losing. I didn't rationalize the scene I was about to act out from some soap opera that I'd been to busy working to notice. I didn't even ask myself if maybe I'd been mistaken about what I'd seen, even though it was true.

He was dead. And I was going to either see him... or make sure he goes to Heaven. Because if we he's in Hell and I make sure he goes to Heaven, then I'll never regret my doings. If he's in Heaven and I am too, then that'll just be great.

And if we both end up in Hell, it'd still be Heaven with him.

I wrapped the belt around my neck. I wasn't entirely sure how to do this. Were you supposed to do it in a closet or off a fan or door? I didn't have a fan. I could also slip off the door. I guessed that my best bet would be in the closet, but that seemed cliche. It was funny, planning my death in the right way. You always need a proper death to end your existence. It was then that I knew how I wanted to die. I was going to leave this world the same way Nowaki did.

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**Nowaki**

I felt his presence creep up closer behind me. I sped down, racing through the streets of the city and sniffing for Hiro-san's blood. I knew he'd be at home, he was off work today.

It was freezing outside. Not that I felt it, but I saw the way people huddling up in their jackets and their hair whipping their faces in the breeze. When I looked into their eyes, I saw my own eyes pierce back at me. Hence my reason to stare at the ground instead of look ahead of me when I was running. I was thankful enough to have my enhanced senses so I wouldn't bump into anyone in my hasty dash to my lover...

Was I even allowed to call him that anymore? Was I allowed to even think of him? Of all the horrendous torments I'd put him through, he still didn't leave me. It wasn't like I'd come down with cancer and he stood by me while I slowly either died or healed, but he stayed by me when _his_ life was in danger and when _he_ was slowly dying because of me. I looked up to see our... _his_ apartment. I raced up the stairs and opened the door, almost ripping it off the hinges. It was warm, too warm for my taste, but I figured I'd deal with it for him.

"Hiro-san!" I exclaimed. No answer. I sniffed around. His scent was fading. He left. To where? Why? I backtracked, smelling his scent strengthen down the road. I began racing again, not before running into someone. How I did it was beyond me. I looked up into the eyes of a man I'd known. My face split into a grimace just as his did.

"Where the hell is Hiro-san?" I spit. Miyagi started to stand up, brushing himself off.

"You stay away from him," the man said in a strict voice. I was too furious to understand consequences. I gripped the man by the neck with one hand and lifted him off the ground. His face was purely shocked.

"I don't remember requesting an opinion. I'm strictly asking... _where. Is. He?_" Miyagi choked up on his words, only to deliver a simple shrug. I released the grip on his chokehold and let him slid down the back of the banister. I raced down the steps to follow his scent once more. After a few minutes I'd ended up back where I started. At the highway. There was nothing in the world that could've shocked me more than what I saw next.

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**Hiroki**

I stood there quietly a moment. I leaned against the railing looking out at the ongoers faces. It was almost Christmas. Hmm. Many people were savagely snipping away on their cellphones, probably talking about deadlines or annoying family or what not. Other people listened to Christmas music that was audible from even where I stood with their children in the back singing along. It thickened my heart to die in such a river of both joy and annoyance. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I silently thanked God for giving me such a good life and allowing me to love someone so deeply like Nowaki. But I was going to see him again soon. Very soon. I stood up on the concrete ledge and looked out once more to the people all driving. Their mixed emotional faces all stinging in my mind. I felt a tear sting my cheek, but I was still happy. I was going to see him again. I was going to love again.

People below began to stop. They all looked up at the me. People whispered and cried, some were anxious thinking I was some preformer or something. I forget my hatred of crowds and started falling forward. A large wave of gasps fled through the highway as they watched me begin to fall. _I'm sorry, Nowaki. I'll see you soon._ I heard one voice begin to penetrate my mind. A loud "No!" that seemed unusually familiar. But I didn't want to see. _I promise._

I felt a hand grab my wrist. My eyes flashed open. Cold. Ice cold. Colder than me. I looked to my side and saw him... _him._ He pulled me back into an embrasive hug. I was scared. Petrified. Who the hell...? It couldn't be Nowaki. He died.

"Get off!" I yelled defensively. I saw the red eyes. They were so full of lust. I didn't like backing away from him as though he were an animal. We were still on the ledge. Me and this... this... _mystery_ man. "Who are you?" I screamed. His eyes dropped in sadness and disbelief.

"I'm Nowaki-."

"Liar!" I cursed, "Nowaki is _dead_. I SAW HIM! I felt his fall. I saw the cars. He's dead and you can't tell me any different!" I was so scared.

"No," he whispered soothingly, "you're mistaking. I did jump... but Hiro-san... I didn't die. I can't die. I will _never_ die. Which was why I came back to see you. Be with you. Please... understand that-."

"No!" I screeched in agony, "Stop. STOP! He's dead... he's dead..." tears stung my eyes. I had instantly forgotten the public crowd. The audience we were preforming for.

"Hiro-san, please believe me," he begged. I kept crying. It wasn't Nowaki... it wasn't. It couldn't be. "I am." I was in his arms in a flash. He raced me away from our audience and into the woods near the street. No one saw us. No one knew where we had gone. I liked it that way. Being alone with this man who was not my Nowaki, but was exactly like him.

"Hiro-san," his voice was stricter, "I came back for you. When I left, I tried my hardest to see to it that I wouldn't come back. But I couldn't. My thirst was- _is_ too strong. No one else can help me... not one single person on this earth..." his face inched to mine. I was thrown to teh ground. My back hit a tree. I felt pain jolt through my body, but I couldn't deal with pain next to the sudden cold that had bellowd over me. This man was right next to me. Pulling me into his body. I didn't pull away. I couldn't... "And I will never die, Hiro-san. I will never stop living. I've tried to die... over and over again. But I'm not allowed. That is my Hell. Putting the one I love in danger... and it hurts... so... _fucking_ much."

This was Nowaki. This was definately him. I felt his passion rage inside of him. I wanted our lips to meet. I wanted to slowly melt beside him... but I knew that wasn't what he had come to see me for... at least... not now.

I unzipped my jacket and pulled down the collar of my smaller jacket, to reveal the skin of my neck. Nowaki's eyes had widened. He was too thirsty to hold back or make a dramatic entrance. His lips were brought hungrily down on my neck, piercing my skin. I heard his moans quake through his body and jump through my skin. I tingled with happiness. Knowing that Nowaki hadn't looked at anyone with those eyes and been able to delight himself except with me.

I closed my eyes and fell back against the tree tiredly. Nowaki was lapping my blood like a dog... but I didn't mind. Feeling his cold tongue brush against my skin didn't bother me... not at all. I pressed my head against his and kissed it. I was so lucky....

There were people in this world dying of poverty and famine... and I got the most wonderful man in the world. It wasn't fair... but I was a selfish man... I could deal with going to Hell. I'd just make my life on earth one worth living.

"I love you, Nowaki," I whispered huskily into his ear. His teeth escaped from my neck. I felt my breath hitch at the sudden lack of contact. The freezing air dipping into my skin. He pulled me down further into the snow that I hadn't noticed.

"I'll love you for eternity, Hiro-san," Nowaki promised, rushing his lips upon mine. I tasted the bit of blood soak into my mouth, but I didn't mind it. I molded our tongues with each other until there wos no room left to move. I was growing even more tired. I slipped in his arms that roughly shook me to deepen the kiss, but I was already falling asleep before I could see the red tinted eyes fade black to Nowaki's eyes... but I loved both him... and the monster.

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**AHH!! SKIDAE HIROKI-SAMAAAA!!! haha, just kidding. But. Here it is. One more chapter. Sorry. And sorry this chapter sucks, I ran out of lust. (Pulls out a pail of red glitter and throws it on myself) YAYY! More lust!**

**Love Esther**


	7. Our End

**Agh, I'm tired. Still suspended. Still dating Tristen. Still madly in love with my best friend even though I'm dating Tristen (haha, don't tell him that). Sick to my stomach. Want to be a pediatrician/teacher/novelist when I grow up. HERE'S THE STORY!! :D And... umm, for those of you who got my accidental last chapter... sorry.... haha, funny isnt it? Well, here it is.**

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"Oh, thanks," Nowaki stated blankly as he received another bouquet of flowers. I was getting really tired of this. I was getting tired of people thinking he was sick, of people thinking they knew what had happened, when the really didn't. Only _I_ knew, and I couldn't even tell anyone about it. I was really getting sick and tired of having to keep this huge secret, and it was only the first month of him having it. _God dammit... I really am a bad boyfriend if I'm giving up on him so easily... but I wouldn't really call it... _giving up.

Nowaki and turned back towards me and smiled. He smiled that damned smile. The same plastic smile that everyone thought was there for a purpose when it was only a guise to mask his true and in depth feelings. I felt slightly proud though. I was proud to be the only one that could see through him, I was glad that I was the only one who was able to really make him smile. Not that fake smile that everyone else gets, but a real _Nowaki_ smile.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki began, putting the orange wild lilies on the table. The table was crowded of different types of flowers. Tulips. Roses. Buttercups. Daisies. Lilacs. Water lilies (which came in a mini pond). And some bastard even sent him cat tails... I mean _what the hell_? Those aren't even flowers. They're just those annoying plants that bob over ponds and feel like peach fuzz. Truthfully, they scared the crap out of me. Who knows what could be living in those things? But it was a gift from someone to Nowaki, so I didn't do anything about it.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"When do you go back to work?"

"Two days."

"Not a very long Christmas break, huh?"

"You don't even get a break, so shut up."

"Ahh, but I'm sick."

"Sick my ass. You're just... just..." _Just what? Undergoing the turn of becoming a vampire? Jeez, I'm such a jerk._ I didn't finish my sentence. Nowaki smiled and hugged my waist. I jumped at his freezing hands.

"What were you thinking, Hiro-san?" he asked in a melodic voice, almost as if his monologue were supposed to be accompanied by a tune.

"I wasn't thinking anything!" I yelled. Nowaki smiled again.

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**Um, ok. Wow. It's over. D: It's around Christmas time, I'm going to make a Christmas special and then I'm done writing for a little while. I'm trying to get this book finished by the end of December. AHH!!!! Won't somebody save me.**

**Love Esther**


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